Lost in Paris

       Paris... This wonderful journey has taken me so much farther from where I first started. 

Every day tended to be some form of struggle, it was both harder and easier than I expected. 

Paris changed me. It changed my whole perspective on what I thought Paris would actually be. 

It helped me to find me and be ok with the way that I write. 

Paris was where I tasted freedom, 

it was where I tasted joy 

realizing that my words could touch other people.  

#realtalk

               Real talk:  Real talk is just sayin' what's on your mind with out a care for logic or what others think.

           So lets talk real. I'm graduating, and I'm scared out of my mind as to what is going to come next. I have this excitement inside of me just ready to burst out of the seams, but just underneath that excitement is an overwhelming, crushing weight of fear/ anxiety.

           I'm not 100 percent sure what I'm afraid of. Maybe its because I'm afraid of failing at college afraid that I wont be good enough at nursing.

            Maybe it's all these things.

          Or maybe it's just because I'm afraid of leaving the part of life that i know and that I've been comfortable with. But i'm still excited to start on this new journey in my life.    :)

                    "So much depends on a red wheel barrow glazed with rain, beside the white chickens."  
William Carlos Williams, 1883 - 1963

   How can such simple words hold so much power and meaning that varies for each person? 

Top 5

             My top 5 blog posts from others are

                                                            1: Kissing Drafts by Jackie O.

                                                         2: I Just found out it was an assembly schedule, Peter Mckeller
                                         
                                                      3:  Here's to those Girls: Rosie Grace
                                                         
                                                  4:  Imagination is not dead, you just have to acknowledge it, Rosie Grace
                                                       
                                              5: Valentines Day by Jackie O.

Tribute to Mom

       Mom I love you so much! I'm sorry I'm such a brat sometimes but I really love you and know that you do your best to help me and you are the most selfless person I have ever known.

               Love you Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll always remember

       I remember my 5th grade teacher. I remember the kid that made me believe I was worthless, because I was "fat, ugly and stupid." 

      I remember the Mulberry tree between my fence and the field; and how we'd always climb it and pretend it was our fortress. I remember how half of my tennis shoes had purple stains from the berries on them. 

       I remember the Lilac bust between mine and my Grandparents house, where I would always pick "bouquets for my Grandma and Mom.

   I remember the stupid Woodpecker that ruined our shingles.

       I remember my first love who broke my heart. You made me learn a lot and helped me grow. But I regret that I didn't realize everyone was right. 

    I remember the 3 kids that commit suicide my sophomore year and wishing that I knew them and could've helped them in anyway possible. 

I remember pouring myself into fantasy novel after fantasy novel, because anything was better than reality.  I remember when I thought I couldn't write anything. 

    I remember how happy creative writing made me.

                              I remember the day my world flipped upside down. I was 11. I remember the first time I saw my Dad cry. It was at my grandpa's funeral when we were all standing next to the casket and praying. Each tear seemed to rip even more holes into my heart, because I knew if Dad, my strong tuff Daddy was crying then everything wasn't going to be ok for a while.

I remember when I wanted to die my hair pink, oh elementary school.

                I remember being crazy and not caring what people think. I remember getting hit in the head with a bat and how my head seemed to ring for days afterwards. 

           I remember having my Mom come and wake me up in the summer so that I could see the Highland fling fireworks. 
            
                             I remember the day I realized my Savior loves me, and how I cried tears of joy.

I'll always remember waking up an hour early on Saturdays so I could hurry and beat my brother to the tv to watch the cartoons I wanted. I remember my disappointment when I saw he was already there.       :)  

Lost

         Those we've lost are never far from us they're always there watching over us to try to help keep us

               from making stupid choices they love us and would never leave us.

How to Heal a Heart

    How to heal a heart. You wanna heal you say? Well it's not easy. 

That gaping chasm in your chest can't just be sewn together with a few a few stitches, 

or cemented in place with super glue. NO! 

This endless pit of confusion and anger isn't a quick and easy 

fix. 

Step 1:  pour the hurt & sadness out 

of the hole and onto the paper. 

Step 2: Be real not not sensical.

Let it flow out, let the poem say what you can't what every one else  is afraid to ask. 

"Does the pain ever go away?" 

Step 3: Cry, sob let the waterfall of salty tears wash down you jaw, 

each tear releasing a drop of pain as it shatters on the floor. 

HEAL.

....too late

             
                   

                                     

Balloon

Balloons

A balloon, is such a simple toy. It's just a thing of stretchy rubber full or air or helium and string. What's so fun about that right? But to a child, it's a Rocket Ship or a UFO or it can even be a Soccer ball. Sometimes, it's not the big fancy things that will make a child happy and have it last. It can be the simple and small things like talking time to listen to them and toys like balloons with maybe a faces drawn on them that can touch children's hearts. 

Gone Fishing

Gone Fishing: Suzie Zurflu

"gone fishing. a sign that says we've locked up and have gone to do something we love. we don't have these signs anymore.

how lovely would it be to live in a world where we could put up our own "gone fishing" signs?

gone dancing

gone painting

gone writing

gone singing

gone walking

gone reading

gone....

just gone."  

I'm jealous. I'm jealous I haven't thought to write something like this. 

I wish that I could show you how I feel with my words,

that I didn't use the word I so much.

Movie quote

                                  "You're a genius!"

                    "Yes, I shall go down in history as the man who opened a door."


                                            -Ever After

Sign

                            Rain is pouring down from the sky, just as your tears stream endlessly

                                      down your cheek.

        The dark ash colored clouds trudge across the sky; consuming all light and joy.

                                      Feeling like the sorrow within your heart.

                             You suddenly turn your head and glance outside

                                         looking for some kind of sign.


                                  And there, there gleaming and shimmering across the cloud darkened sky

                                         is your sign. A brightly colored rainbow

                                         

The Night

        Black, Frightening, and cold.

 It creeps slowly. 


        Suddenly as if someone flipped off the lights,

 you are plunged into nothingness.


                       Fear starts to set in, slowly turning your heart to ice.

Every little creek sets you on edge.

         Just as you are about to give in to the icey hopelessness,

                          light appears
just in time to guide you out and give you hope. Hope to escape the despair of the night.  

Ruins

      We are like the Ruins of a once great city 

                that started out great, but after year of wars starts to break apart. 

                                  

                                   How trials in our life push and push us, until we start to br e a k  ap a  r  t.

 The older we get the more our trails beat us down, 

just as each canon ball pounds hole after hole in the great stone wall.

Just when our city is about to fall though,

we remember.

We remember all the fun things in life, and what helped us through before; 

staying strong, believing in ourselves, having others believe in us, and giving it our all.

If we don't do the things that keep our city wall strong, 

all of our trials and sad things in life will tear us down

Stone by stone and piece by piece,

and the world will pass us by without a second glance...

So don't shut out every possibility thinking all is lost. Because there is always the sun, 

                   that one last ray of hope. 

The day my world shattered

                 They're Gone.

 Words that shatter everything that we thought we knew about life.

                                I still remember the day when i hear those words spoken to me.


                        It was a nice breezy September day.
September 17th.

  

That was the day, the moment I heard my Mom say words that I hope to never hear again.  

She told me that my Grandpa, 

my best friend 

was gone; 

that he didn't make it.

 After hearing this I felt two of the most conflicting feelings i have ever felt. 

      

I felt heart crushing sorrow burst inside of me. 

    Followed almost immediately by the most overwhelming sense of peace and love, 

                                   in that moment I knew that he was there with me, and he'd never leave me

            I knew that even though he wasn't here where I could see him anymore, he would always be with me

                                    In the 6 1/2 years since he's been gone I've come to realization that loved ones we've lost, 

aren't really lost at all. 

They are here all around us to guide us and comfort us.  

                 

                                                                             They are never as far as they seem 

Who am I to judge another, when I walk Imperfectly?"

"Who am I to judge another, 

when I walk imperfectly?"

#stolen Simply Rosie

This is how I feel when I read.

"Every living thing I come across when I read becomes a part of me! It's like the main people in my books become family to me; I can't lose them!"

Afraid

I'm Afraid & Fear. 

  Words that seem so simple, but hold so much power over us.

              I'm afraid that I'll never write well enough to make the top 5. That this sounds stupid and you don't

understand.            I'm scared that my brother will will forget me, scared that I hurt you.


Afraid you're dissapointed.


 I'm afraid of crying and not knowing why. Of  forgetting the ones I've lost. I'm scared that you've really left

me forever.

I'm scared.

Scared that I can't help you.

                I am afraid of fear itself. 

                        Because in reality that is the only thing that we all really fear

Angels

  

"I believe there are angels among us. 

Sent down to us from somewhere up above. 

They come to you and me, in our darkest hours,

 to show us how to live, to teach us how to give. 

To guide us with the light  of love."

Angels Among us - Alabama

Bricks

   People. 

 People are great, they can be your best friend and your worst enemy.

They are very contradictory and confusing as crap. But they are the source of our non concrete things like love.

Love may not be an animate or touchable, but the way it is expressed is. You can see love everyday shining through the eyes of your family and friends. 

People are great, we help each other to live up to our fullest potential.


  People are also terrible. We kill each other in wars. We kill each other!

We kill each other because we can't learn to forgive the mistakes that we make. 

We screw up (big time). We break each other 's hearts. 

We do things that ruin us in the long run, just for the mere moment of "pleasure" that comes from it.

  People are like bricks. Seemingly useless, until you expound your mind.

Unique

   So for this post I decided to do something completely different than what i have done. Instead of posting something that I wrote, I'm going to post one of my favorite poems called "The Race:
     The Race

attributed to Dr. D.H. "Dee" Groberg

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
    my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
    excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
    or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
    and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.
The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
    to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
    was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
    the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
    and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
    Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.
But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
    which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
    and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
    his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
    “I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”
But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
    with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
    “If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...
    but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
    “There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
    But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.
“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
    for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
    You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
    and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
    still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
    Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.
They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
    head high and proud and happy -- no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
    the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
    you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
    “To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”
And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
    the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
    And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
    another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

Random Quote

"When life gives you skittles throw them at random people and say taste the freaking rainbow!!!"

  -Unknown

What is Love?

Love is in a hug or a kiss.

It is the thing that makes you feel

 as if you're floating above the clouds,

and nothing can bring you down.

It is the bittersweet feeling 

that makes you who you are;

The thing that makes you think

 irrational thoughts,

and do unreasonable things.

It is in a song, a shout, 

a gentle whisper, a tear.

Love is the thing you feel when you

 can feel your heart swelling bigger and bigger,

just because you saw... them.

Love is the feeling of complete joy felt

when you see a child's innocent face.

It is the thing that people would die fighting for;

but so many of us take for granted

because we've always had it.

There are things in this world that will try to tell you

that love is not the important thing anymore; 

That its is just a bonus point to be tacked on the side.

Wherever you are, and whomever you may be;

remember

remember that there is love our there for everyone;

and that it

 is the true treasure of this life.

  

Free Post

         His gaze falls on you.

quickly 

you turn your head the opposite way 

     as the tears stream down your face.

You feel ashamed, unworthy...

You see feet slowly approaching.

You look up as you Feel a Gentle Guiding hand

wipe away your tears.

He speaks in a calming yet powerful voice.

"Arise and be of good cheer."

          

The Real Me

             The Real me Knows pain. Knows the feelings of inadequacy, hurt and hopelessness.

 
     I can put on a face that only I can see though. A happy face to hide the bent and broken heart underneath.

          The real me knows pure joy. I have felt the genuine love of others; watched as their happiness grew. 

The real me knows that joy and love will always triumph over our sorrows.

 
             And that is what's most important


                             

Crayons

    So simple yet so powerful! 

     The pure ingenuity that flows from just a basic colorful writing tool. Crayons  have the ability to bring back memories long forgotten. They can recreate your childhood. 

 
              Everyone now thinks that bigger is better. "The more crayons and colors the better".; they say. Wrong! Yes more colors are fun, but whatever happened to life when simple things were ok. Where a 12 pack of crayons was all you needed to create a masterpiece.

 
            We've forgotten what it was like to not worry about things that now consume our daily lives. As we         have grown older our minds have become clouded with haze. In this haze we lose sight of the sweet clarity of what is really important.

                                 

              Family and love!!! 

 Here's something I wrote, I hope you like it: it's called   Things I see.



            I see things not many others can,

               
             I capture one fleeting moment and make it last forever

                         Just one moment.



                The sense of complete joy shown in a child's laughing smile

  All the pain shown in a single tear as it trickles down a smooth cheek.


             I can show people the beauty of God's creations;

                  make things seem as if you could reach out and touch them.

     As if you could touch the cold pristine water of the glaciers,

         or the calm and peaceful  meadow.


                   From the dew painted grass seen in the first lights of morn,

         to the snow covered peaks of the Alps.

    I have seen it all.
  

       I've been thinking for a while how I should do my human post. I thought that I could do something similar to what I wrote for the prompt in class, but I decided that this might be better...

           We're all here on this earth, and for whatever reason you believe that may be, we all know that it isn't easy down here. :) Sometimes life is really hard, especially on those days where you feel like you've lost your way and fall flat on your face. At other times you are on top of the world, soaring high and nothing can bring you down!

           
At some point throughout this journey, we're all going to have our hearts broken. Whether it be through  the death of someone we love, rejection, or feeling inadequate.
               But through all of this you have the opportunity to look back and learn from this heartbreak.

None of us are perfect, just remember that. Remember that life is a gift, so live each day to its fullest.

Just have fun!! Walk on the beach barefoot, let the sand seep in between your toes. Burst out into a random song just because you feel like it, because it just brings a silly smile to your face. :)  Eat ice cream and candy in your sweats while watching your favorite show. Sometimes it helps more than you think it would.Who cares what others think?

   Smile the next time you see a stranger in the halls! Because you never know when you could brighten their day.
                         
                                        But remember whatever you do just do you!

                         

Intro to Me :)

Hey everyone!!! Just wanted to tell ya a little bit about me/do a little intro. I love to read and do just about anything outdoors. I also love old things(hence the background pic). My passion is writing and music. So I wanted to give you all a little taste of my writing, and decided on this one:



The rich, deep, resonating sound of bows being pulled across strings.
Strings filled with potential to change lives!
Potential to lift away all of your cares and worries.












Whether it is one solitary voice, a midst an everlasting world of noise, worries, and stress, or thousands.


It speaks to your soul
Not spoken in the average everyday language of the world, but spoken in a tongue that can touch the soul of any person willing to let it.
Let it in, let it touch your soul and paint pictures in your mind!
Music  is the epitome of peace. It contains the emotions of all who have played it or even listened to it.
It has the ability to take you to a place where there is only the relaxing peace of music.
It empowers you to see and feel a piece of heaven.