Lost in Paris

       Paris... This wonderful journey has taken me so much farther from where I first started. 

Every day tended to be some form of struggle, it was both harder and easier than I expected. 

Paris changed me. It changed my whole perspective on what I thought Paris would actually be. 

It helped me to find me and be ok with the way that I write. 

Paris was where I tasted freedom, 

it was where I tasted joy 

realizing that my words could touch other people.  

#realtalk

               Real talk:  Real talk is just sayin' what's on your mind with out a care for logic or what others think.

           So lets talk real. I'm graduating, and I'm scared out of my mind as to what is going to come next. I have this excitement inside of me just ready to burst out of the seams, but just underneath that excitement is an overwhelming, crushing weight of fear/ anxiety.

           I'm not 100 percent sure what I'm afraid of. Maybe its because I'm afraid of failing at college afraid that I wont be good enough at nursing.

            Maybe it's all these things.

          Or maybe it's just because I'm afraid of leaving the part of life that i know and that I've been comfortable with. But i'm still excited to start on this new journey in my life.    :)

                    "So much depends on a red wheel barrow glazed with rain, beside the white chickens."  
William Carlos Williams, 1883 - 1963

   How can such simple words hold so much power and meaning that varies for each person? 

Top 5

             My top 5 blog posts from others are

                                                            1: Kissing Drafts by Jackie O.

                                                         2: I Just found out it was an assembly schedule, Peter Mckeller
                                         
                                                      3:  Here's to those Girls: Rosie Grace
                                                         
                                                  4:  Imagination is not dead, you just have to acknowledge it, Rosie Grace
                                                       
                                              5: Valentines Day by Jackie O.

Tribute to Mom

       Mom I love you so much! I'm sorry I'm such a brat sometimes but I really love you and know that you do your best to help me and you are the most selfless person I have ever known.

               Love you Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll always remember

       I remember my 5th grade teacher. I remember the kid that made me believe I was worthless, because I was "fat, ugly and stupid." 

      I remember the Mulberry tree between my fence and the field; and how we'd always climb it and pretend it was our fortress. I remember how half of my tennis shoes had purple stains from the berries on them. 

       I remember the Lilac bust between mine and my Grandparents house, where I would always pick "bouquets for my Grandma and Mom.

   I remember the stupid Woodpecker that ruined our shingles.

       I remember my first love who broke my heart. You made me learn a lot and helped me grow. But I regret that I didn't realize everyone was right. 

    I remember the 3 kids that commit suicide my sophomore year and wishing that I knew them and could've helped them in anyway possible. 

I remember pouring myself into fantasy novel after fantasy novel, because anything was better than reality.  I remember when I thought I couldn't write anything. 

    I remember how happy creative writing made me.

                              I remember the day my world flipped upside down. I was 11. I remember the first time I saw my Dad cry. It was at my grandpa's funeral when we were all standing next to the casket and praying. Each tear seemed to rip even more holes into my heart, because I knew if Dad, my strong tuff Daddy was crying then everything wasn't going to be ok for a while.

I remember when I wanted to die my hair pink, oh elementary school.

                I remember being crazy and not caring what people think. I remember getting hit in the head with a bat and how my head seemed to ring for days afterwards. 

           I remember having my Mom come and wake me up in the summer so that I could see the Highland fling fireworks. 
            
                             I remember the day I realized my Savior loves me, and how I cried tears of joy.

I'll always remember waking up an hour early on Saturdays so I could hurry and beat my brother to the tv to watch the cartoons I wanted. I remember my disappointment when I saw he was already there.       :)  

Lost

         Those we've lost are never far from us they're always there watching over us to try to help keep us

               from making stupid choices they love us and would never leave us.